so, i just got back from vacation... beautiful lake tahoe. it's crazy driving from reno's desert area through the snowy mountains and into areas that look like they're in hawaii (except for the temperature). God's creativity simply amazes me.

there are a couple of different albums, if you'd like to look at them:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2129462&id=55000391&l=df1f8147b9

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2129465&id=55000391&l=03483d8214

it was a very relaxing trip, and i certainly needed the time away from everything related to work... and the time with just my wife was extremely nice and special. i told meredith that at night i could literally feel my body relieving itself of stress. it was the oddest feeling ever... but waking up in the morning whenever i wanted to... doing whatever we wanted... and just enjoying the schedule-less days was quite nice.

i came home, though, and the stress of work quickly set in. last night i was laying in bed and worrying about a meeting that i had today at 8am. i just laid there and couldn't sleep.... so i just prayed and began going over psalm 139 in my head.... and it was the coolest thing because i could literally feel the stress being taken off of me and i fell right to sleep (and slept great).

today has been stressful because of this morning's events, but i have realized that the worries of today aren't mine to carry. i was excited about spending time in the Word this evening, because it was my chance to get with God and communicate what i'm feeling/what's going on.... and to transfer all of this stuff over to His shoulders.

"you have so little faith..." - it's true. i plan and i take care of business and i do my very best to make sure i am prepared. i feel like that is what we should do... God does want us to rely on Him, but at the same time... he doesn't call us to be stupid and make dumb, ill-informed decisions. i truly believe you can trust Him AND be prepared. be smart.. be wise..

BUT, when we have prepared ourselves... education... saving money... learning skills... saying what needs to be said... keeping our mouths closed... whatever it is... then that's when we have to let it go and let God do His thing. it's after that point that we tend to worry. we worry about things we cannot control. we worry because we wonder if we've done enough to control the outcome.... or we worry because we don't have any control over the outcome, as if worry will somehow change it.

so, i confess that i worry too much. i've seen God's faithfulness time after time... and yet i worry. i'm not sure that i worry so much about God being what He says He will be... but i think i worry about "have i done enough? have i prepared enough?" -- and most of the time... i've simply over-prepared and i'm worried, trying to control the outcome of something that is really not my responsibility.

"Your heavenly father already knows all your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the kingdom of God your primary concern."

focus on God. He'll handle the rest.

...now is the time for you to firm up one thing in your mind: you need God every single day. this is not a part-time proposition. He alone can satisfy, even when all else fails you.

he may be late coming home. again. but God will always be right on time.

she may let you down. again. but God can always be trusted to deliver on His promises.

every day you place expectations on those around us. sometimes they meet them. sometimes they don't. but they will never be able to totally satisfy all the demands you ask of them--partly because some of your demands are unreasonable, partly because they're human.

God, however, is not. and those who approach Him in utter dependence each day for the real needs in their life are the ones who find out just how dependable He is.

can others give you an inner peace? no. but God can. "be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. and the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Phil 4:6-7).

can others enable you to be content no matter what life throws at you? no. but God can. "in any and every circumstance i have learned the secret of being filled... i can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (phil 4:12-13).

there are needs in your life only God can fully satisfy. though others are able to complete some of these requirements--at least every now and then--only God is able to do it all. your need for love. your need for acceptance. your need for joy. it's time to stop expecting somebody or something to keep you functioning and fulfilled on a non-stop basis. only God can do that as you learn to depend on Him. but He wants to do it His way. "my God will supply all your needs according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus" (Phil 4:19).

the needs of love, peace, and adequacy are real. no one is saying you shouldn't have them. but rather than plugging into things that are unstable at best and are subject to change--your health, your money, the affections and interests of others--plug into God instead. He's the only One in your life that can never change. His faithfulness, His truth, and His promises to His children will always remain. that's why you need to seek Him every day.

our only reason for not doing this is because we really don't trust God to supply what we need. and yet the Bible says "delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart" (ps 37:4). when we are seeking Him first, loving Him first, making our relationship with Him top priority, He promises to supply to us with what we really need--which, actually, is all it really takes to satisfy us.

Jesus once spoke to a woman at a Samaritan well, a woman who had tried getting her needs met through a string of failed relationships. with both her life and water bucket empty, she had come to this place broken and hardened yet still desperately in need. but in Christ she found what He called "living water" (john 4:10)--a supply that wasn't just for quenching temporary thirst. what He offered her was a drink of soul satisfaction that never quits giving and refreshing. and that is what's available to you each morning at sunrise and each night before bed...

God is your everyday supply. of everything you need.